I know it's been ages since I posted on here, and I have LOTS of things to write about. I turned 25, went to Wakarusa, saw PFunk, Brandi Carlile, and Dirtfoot, and basically have had the most radical summer of my life, so far. Instead of writing about those things today, though, I got to thinking about weddings, which led to other thoughts, all of which are leading in to this rant. So many of my friends and childhood acquaintances are getting married, or have already. Most of them got married close to home, but a few chose a destination wedding. Which got me to thinking about the possibility of me, myself, getting married. First, I have to find the woman of my dreams. She hasn't come around yet, I don't think. So I've got time. Phew. Destination weddings are great. You get to go somewhere exotic and celebrate the beginning of your life with someone in a setting that you are likely to never forget. My sister and brother in law were married in Italy, and it was perfect for them. They went by themselves, and we got a few pictures of the ceremony, and even more pictures of the Ferrari factory. Signs of what was to come, eh? I digress.
Back to my feelings on mawwiage. I envy those who have the ability to go and be married somewhere grand and unexpected. More than that though, I envy those who can go to their local courthouse, declare that they want to get married, sign a piece of paper, and then have their wedding in their hometown, surrounded by their family and friends.
I have no choice but to have a destination wedding. I CAN'T go down to the courthouse with my girlfriend, fill out the forms, and make her my wife. Some days, I get so damn mad because that's just not fair. It's not fucking fair. If I someday find the woman I want to spend my life with, we will have to jump through flaming hoops of death just to put our names on the same piece of paper that says we're married. We'll have to make arrangements to go to another state or country, taking away the ability to share our happiness with the microcosm of families and friends that weddings connect. Sure, we could have a party to celebrate our union at a later date, but what if that's not what we want? What if my future wife wants to get married in her parents' backyard surrounded by all of our friends?What if I want to invite all of my extended family and my two elderly grandmothers? What then? My options are slim to none. I will HAVE to be married in another state, and when my wife and I come home, our marriage WON'T EVEN BE RECOGNIZED by the state that I live in. We'll just be a couple of women living together. If we choose to adopt children, we may not both be able to legally be named parents of the child. If something happens to my wife or I, we could be denied the opportunity to be together in the hospital.
I'm not really in the mood to go into the gay marriage arguments and counter-arguments. They don't really matter, anyway. All that should matter is two people, regardless of gender, wanting to spend the rest of their lives together. Forget your God, and how he says it is wrong. That guy was all about the love, they've been lying to you with all that guilt and hate. Forget the idea that queers getting married will weaken the idea of "traditional" marriage. If the US divorce rate is any indicator, someone already beat us to it. Unless all of those divorces are caused by raging home-wrecking lesbian affairs. In which case, ladies, kudos to you, you sneaky homos.
I realize that this is rambling and slightly over the top. My apologies to you, reader. I am just so frustrated with the hetero normative privileges of the world. I am a person too. I love, and even though I will always put on my best face and celebrate with you, every wedding I attend makes me wonder if I will ever be able to share my own love in that way. Not because of the whole "no girlfriend" thing..but because I worry that our society will never accept my relationships as valid. No matter how much my mom loves my girlfriend, or how well I bond with her dad, there will ALWAYS be those people there to tell us that we're not a legitimate couple. Unfortunately, they seem to be the majority. Which totally sucks, by the way. Completely. I wish I could tell everyone of those people that the love they experience with their significant other is worthless. But you know, haters gonna hate, and lovers gonna love. And the hate is no way to promote positive change, which is kind of what I'm all about, in case you don't know me. Sometimes I just get a little worked up.
I feel better now. I'll write something happier and easier to read later.
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